Sex Without Intimacy

A friend of mine, Dave Bruno, made mention of this fascinating piece that was on NPR entitled “Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships.” Alongside of some helpful stats about the ever-increasing average age of marriage (27.1 for men and 25.3 for women), the author of the piece provides some interviews with young adults that are both surprising but not surprising about sexual activity.

The main thrust of the article relates to the increase in “hooking up” behaviors amongst young adults (i.e., sexual encounters without long-term relationship) and the lack of true intimacy within relationship.

Read these comments from one 25-year-old woman, May, who lives in New York:  “For many of us, the requisite vulnerability and exposure that comes from being really intimate with someone in a committed sense is kind of threatening.” She goes on to say that the thought of being in love with someone “is the most terrifying thing.”

The irony of this is what we see in so many of our lives: a longing for true intimacy but the inability to be willing to do what it takes to have true intimacy in relationships.

Thus, sex becomes just one more physical activity that is “healthy” according to one interviewee; it’s sort of like good physical and emotional exercise.

Not suprisingly, the breakdown in relationship leads to an increase in sexual activity as a means of attaining intimacy but, in the end, pushes intimacy out the window in the same effort.

Where does this leave us?